coulda, woulda, shoulda

If Modernist literature has taught me nothing else, it has taught me that could have, would have, and should have are the three most pernicious phrases in the English language. They are termites in our future's foundation—tearing down all the progress we have made and all the lessons we have learned in favor of a misremembered past: If I went back and did things differently yesterday, then today I would be great and good.
We excuse our faults by blaming them on the past: If such-and-such had not happened to me, then today I would be great and good.
Could have, would have, and should have remove our responsibility for our present situation and our responsibility to make ourselves great and good in the future. We also convince ourselves that we have potential for greatness and goodness even when we do not. Sometimes I want to scream:

In reality, if you went back in time, you would make the same choices. You are not the person who you think you could/would/should have been! You are the person who does what you do. If you don't like who you are, then get off your hiney and change who you become.