Should I take a chance and spring for the buns?

Whereas, word is on the street that I am too much of a combative know-it-all to get a boyfriend; the arguments for my attitude are threefold, and explicated below.

Argument I.
Until the process heretofore referred to as "getting a boyfriend" is explained, I can hardly be expected to carry out said process efficiently.
Is it like going to a hardware store and comparing labels: "Well, this doormat respects the need for space but showers his girlfriend with horrid gifts, while this other doormat has impeccable taste but calls several times a day expecting to 'talk' for hours, hmm…"?
Or, is it more like ordering coffee: "Yes, I'd like a tall low-fat Columbian, triple-intellect, light sugar, light sensitivity, hold the foam, hold the saccharine, oh, and a little cinnamon sprinkled on top? Thanks."?
Maybe "getting a boyfriend" is like a lottery—one day your number comes up, and you're set/stuck.
However it works, I cannot do what it takes to "get a boyfriend" if I do not know what it entails. I cannot even decide if I want to "get a boyfriend".

Argument II.
If I somehow managed to surpress three-quarters of the random facts swimming around in my head and to not argue about any of it and to "get a boyfriend" before aforementioned suppression caused my head to explode, life for both of us would be about as far from pleasant as life can get. A man who does not enjoy debates and compromises would hate spending time with me, and I would hate trying not to do something I love so much and then beating myself up for failing. There is more than one way to have a discussion: I just have to find somebody who discusses my way.

Argument II
Though I do not care how smart my friends are, I want a romantic-type relationship with someone I admire; in other words, he'd better be smarter than me at the things I'm good at and/or amazingly brilliant in something I'm horrible at, like music, or I know nothing about, like cars (I'm also horrible at knitting and scrapbooking, but I'm not sure that will cut it). I can't help it—I'm old-fashioned. Is it wrong for me to test potential boyfriends with a battle of wits when the information gained from said testing is so vital?
Furthermore, as much as I'd like to blame dumb boys and complain that brilliant men always go for airheaded women, the truth is that I create my problem. I get sick of dating guys as soon as I realize they never know what I'm talking about. However, I don't want to date a man I admire as much as I fear losing the upper hand in a relationship with a man I admire. If he understands me, he understands how to hurt me.

Conclusion.
I do have a problem "getting a boyfriend", but it is not because my intelligence and observational skills turn guys off. Maybe my intelligence and observational skills do turn some guys off, but I would be miserable with those guys anyway.
My problem is that I am a control freak.

Quod erat demonstrandum.