Top Ten Reasons Why Phantom Roommates Are Better Than Real Ones

10. Phantom roommates love all your music, even the Hebrew reggae.
9. Phantom roommates do not make out with their boyfriends on the living-room couch while you are trying to watch NBC Nightly News.
8. Phantom roommates do not bake cookies that make you sick but fill the apartment with a pleasant aroma.
7. Phantom roommates' stuff stays just the way they left it: in that perfect pre-use state of unpacking.
6. Phantom roommates do not report you to the manager for breaking guest rules.
5. Phantom roommates do not want to talk to you when you have a big report due.
4. Phantom roommates do not mind when you stay up until 03:15.
3. Phantom roommates are very quiet when you have a migraine.
2. Phantom roommates allow you to dominate every conversation.
1. Phantom roommates love you just the way you are, even when you're stressed and your side of the room looks like a hurricane hit it.