Things I've Learnt at College

• I can write two (double-spaced) pages an hour with sources early in the morning.
• Putting the lid on the pan really does make water boil faster.
• Being male and an idiot gives one an inalienable right to speak up in class at every inopportunity.
• Being female and an idiot gives one an inalienable right to lots of first dates with intelligent men who think dumb women just need a little missionary-style encouragement to be smart.
• Two jobs at once is a bad idea.
• Pop·Secret Homestyle is excellent for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• TV shows download much faster around two in the afternoon.
• In winter, failing to rub Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream into your hands at least three times a day will cause your knuckles to bleed.
• Pantene Pro-V Relaxed and Natural intense moisturizing conditioner is the best.
  
• Monday evening is the busiest time in the laundry room, for everyone forgets to wash their clothes on Saturday and gets really desperate on Sunday.
• Don't ever ask a group of Latter-day Saints to talk about things they've learnt from people in other religions.
• Dancing is related to sex, so guys who dance like total weirdos (lots of head-bobbing independent from their bodies) and ignore pesky details like rhythm turn me off to the point of nausea.
  
• Many, many white people don't know that they're white.
  
• Men with scruff are devastatingly attractive and devastatingly self-absorbed.
• The uglier you look, the more people whom you know will be dying to talk to you.