Not Winning Versus Losing Everything

Bitterness saddens me more than death. So many conflicts in this world could be solved if both sides were willing to give up a little vanity in order to save a lot more anger and blood. The leafless reality is that people would rather slaughter and be slaughtered with and by thousands of their brothers and sisters than let go of the furious entitlement that scorches the inside of their skulls. It reminds me of the little girl who prayed that if she died all her toys would break. Except outside of ditties, girls and boys die for forgotten history, poisoned deserts, imagined slights, corrupted scripture, and attempted superiority. Some fights are not worth winning.
Idealists watch petty quarrels and shake their heads—why can't we all get along? But, the world does not want ideals; they want to pretend they are better than someone else because they forgot they had any worth at all. Idealists never rule.
Many days it feels like it is never going to end, not just bloodshed but a married couple at each other's throat not because he is right and she is physically incapable of repeating the request he forgot but because neither wants to lose. Politicians do not try to pass the best solution for the greater good; instead, they all try to pass the solution that makes themselves look good. In a couple hundred years, everyone who is here today will have nothing but our character. Chances are that our great-great-grandchildren will be fighting the same stupid battles.
At least this is not all there is. A just God would not confine His children to such a flawed existence for nothing and next confine us to an eternity of strumming harps in the clouds. Because as miserable as this world can be, parts of it are wondrous enough to take my breath away, like riptides combing salt through my hair and warm arms around me and books communicating thoughts through arbitrary symbols and tiny people born every minute and the tang of blood in my mouth after I fall. Moonstruck Chocolate's chile varido bar is pretty great too. I suppose I have learnt more about the nature and rôle of my Heavenly Father by living away from Him than I could during an innocent eternity in His presence. It is just like I left my family to learn about life at college—I can still call home.