Making the Grade
Today I ran across an article (actually, it is more like a series of "authority" quotes) discussing whether men would "still" prefer an A- woman (wonderfully described by Dave Cronin—whoever that is—as a BabyTron 5000 Birthing Machine Housewife) to an A+ woman, "the total package".
Has anyone else noticed that "the total package", described as "Brains. Looks. Mommy potential. Earning potential.", would have to be one of those rare superwomen? She'd have to survive on four hours of sleep or less in order to clean, cook, take care of the children, work in a demanding full-time job, sleep with her husband, exercise, do her hair, shop, and have an active social life. I know a few women who have actually succeeded in becoming this ideal A+ wife, but they all did it with drugs—no joke.
I'm not saying that all wives should be stay-at-home mothers, just that I think all these enlightened men and women need to realize what they are asking for. I particularly liked what Michele Weiner-Davis said, except that this passage is a little unfair because it is directed only at men who want "the total package" when it should also address all the future-suicidal women who believe that the only way to be truly self-fulfilled is to be "the total package":
"Do men still prefer the A- woman? Heck, no. Now a man prefers an A+ woman who does it all: She burns the world down professionally; she's his personal siren; she's Martha Stewart on the home front; she's the perfect mother to his children and the primary homemaker. And never mind that she has her plate full with several full-time jobs, he still wants to be the center of her universe.
Now, it's not that men won't pitch in. Millions of men are reasonable and dedicated husbands. They're loving and thoughtful. But for some reason, they still consider themselves to be "helping" with the dishes or "babysitting" the kids. Why don't women "help" with dishes or "babysit" their kids? Because those are "women's jobs" that are, it seems, beneath husbands at face value.
This is why so many women feel as if they're burning the candle at both ends. They truly want to be an A+, but they've learned a physics lesson the hard way: You simply can't be in two places at once. Men need to get real. If they want an A+ woman, they need to make the grade themselves."
I was going to offer some sort of brilliant solution to the double-shift problem, but I cannot remember what I was going to say. I think I'm going to go sunbathe now.
Has anyone else noticed that "the total package", described as "Brains. Looks. Mommy potential. Earning potential.", would have to be one of those rare superwomen? She'd have to survive on four hours of sleep or less in order to clean, cook, take care of the children, work in a demanding full-time job, sleep with her husband, exercise, do her hair, shop, and have an active social life. I know a few women who have actually succeeded in becoming this ideal A+ wife, but they all did it with drugs—no joke.
I'm not saying that all wives should be stay-at-home mothers, just that I think all these enlightened men and women need to realize what they are asking for. I particularly liked what Michele Weiner-Davis said, except that this passage is a little unfair because it is directed only at men who want "the total package" when it should also address all the future-suicidal women who believe that the only way to be truly self-fulfilled is to be "the total package":
"Do men still prefer the A- woman? Heck, no. Now a man prefers an A+ woman who does it all: She burns the world down professionally; she's his personal siren; she's Martha Stewart on the home front; she's the perfect mother to his children and the primary homemaker. And never mind that she has her plate full with several full-time jobs, he still wants to be the center of her universe.
Now, it's not that men won't pitch in. Millions of men are reasonable and dedicated husbands. They're loving and thoughtful. But for some reason, they still consider themselves to be "helping" with the dishes or "babysitting" the kids. Why don't women "help" with dishes or "babysit" their kids? Because those are "women's jobs" that are, it seems, beneath husbands at face value.
This is why so many women feel as if they're burning the candle at both ends. They truly want to be an A+, but they've learned a physics lesson the hard way: You simply can't be in two places at once. Men need to get real. If they want an A+ woman, they need to make the grade themselves."
I was going to offer some sort of brilliant solution to the double-shift problem, but I cannot remember what I was going to say. I think I'm going to go sunbathe now.
posted by Bethylene at 17:10
3 Comments:
Now a man prefers an A+ woman who does it all: She burns the world down professionally; she's his personal siren; she's Martha Stewart on the home front; she's the perfect mother to his children and the primary homemaker. And never mind that she has her plate full with several full-time jobs, he still wants to be the center of her universe.
Whatever. I think it's a crock of shit to say (in general) that that's what a man prefers. Big ginormous paintbrushes usually cover the truth.
That sounds more like some sick Stepford Wife or a version of "I Dream of Jeannie". *ack*
You need to meet more men! That's not the way they all are, especially out here in the midwest. Anybody who only wants an A+ woman is not worth your time. Betheylene is right about the only women who can handle it are those who have the help of drugs (tranquilizers, antidepressants, etc) Even they don't handle it very well sometimes but they don't care.
Forget the hubby and kids for a while and make your mark on the world. When you have life the way you want it, consider thinking about a guy who is compatible on your terms with your values. They do exist. Authorities don't know everything, they mostly know how to sell what they write.
You have an LDS link on your site. Might your chosen faith have anything to do with the roles you think you have to assume? Methodists, Episcopals and Presbyterians, among others, will cut you a lot more slack!
"You simply can't be in two places at once"
Actually, yes you can. Read up on quantum mechanics ^_^
Otherwise, yeah... I'm glad I'm getting you off BYU, at least for a summer.
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