31.3.08

Perspective

On Saturday it was snaining pretty hard as we drove up, so the temple didn't look quite so perfectly situated. They probably took this picture on one of the two annual nice-weather days allotted to Lake Oswego, Oregon.

Yesterday at church we learned about LDS Family Services. The presentation really put things into perspective, for I had been feeling sorry for myself because I developed another opportunistic skin infection in another bizarro place (not private, just weird). LDS Family Services is great, I'm sure, but I couldn't help feeling inexplicably lucky for not needing to go there. I thought, how come I don't have to worry about depression, abuse, adoption, addiction, same-sex attraction, or premarital pregnancy? What made me so special? And how come I could go to the temple on Saturday when so many people can't? What did I do to deserve being this happy? Then our closing hymn was "Count Your Many Blessings". I feel like saying, "Okay, God, I get it—we didn't need the song. And, thanks. I couldn't have done it without You; actually, I didn't do anything at all—You did."

28.3.08

Latest news

Someone from the MTC called yesterday—I'm going to be in intermediate Spanish! She did not say whether that meant I can leave earlier.
It's been snowing here for hours. We haven't had snow like this (1) all this winter, and (2) in late March since 1951.

27.3.08

Five Things People May Not Know about Me—unashamèd plagarism of Christa's idea that she stole from someone else

  1. I truly believe that one day I really will instant-win $10,000 from a box of frozen waffles.
  2. I may be the only woman in America who is happy with her body because if I weren't, I'd have to exercise or go on a diet or something.
  3. I love to share my ice cream with my cat. In fact, I'm doing it right now.
  4. I have daydreamed about England and the States going to war so that I could claim asylum in the UK and never have to go back.
  5. I sometimes have really deep thoughts about salvation and the meaning of God's omniscience and stuff, but I rarely even write them here. When I brought up one of them in my talk on Sunday—that I used to feel guilty for the blood Christ spilled for me when I was sick or had done something wrong because even when I recovered or repented I still couldn't put it back—my mom was really shocked.

How'd you like that watching each and every bite go into your mouth?

25.3.08

The end of Plead/Cleave

My 57,444-word YA romantic adventure novel Plead (which I wrote in high school) evolved over the past few months into the just-finished 45,760- word semiromantic novella Cleave. (What an adjective string!) I wrote the ending last night, and this afternoon I cleaned it all up: standardized the chapter titles, gave all of the chapters epigraphs from Three Sisters, and brought all the text up to date with my latest version. As always, the biggest problem with the whole story is that, even with all the cutbacks I made, it would never really happen.

The ending is no cop-out, for everything I could have written between chapter 24 and the epilogue/foreshadowing prologue has already been written a thousand times. Readers can easily fill in the three-month blank, so it would be silly for me to write something so clichéd.

Mostly, I am proud of myself for finally getting this inane story out of my system. I am also proud of myself for deleting so much, leaving things about the characters out because they weren't important. I used to think that everything I ever invented had to go into the story, but I've gotten over that.

24.3.08

Book Review: The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason


Hmm, I don't know where to start. My mom picked this up at the library because it's Washington State's book of the year or something. Then she said she had other stuff to read but someone in the family should read it because the government told us to, so she gave it to me. On the one hand this is a very ambitious first novel, and the research behind the setting is truly phenomenal; on the other hand, the fact that it is a first novel shows a bit. Perhaps I've learnt so much about deconstructing and analyzing texts that I cannot read anything without finding a flaw.

Or perhaps the book world is so flooded with 'luminous', 'intoxicating' books full of 'mystical lushness' that some neominimalist will soon have to build an ark. Don't get me wrong, it was nice at first. But the introverted, brilliant Victorian specialist in a rare field who is sent to a faraway land? Been done. The feverish dream-reality? Been done. The repressed middle-aged man in a second youth? Been done. The artistic temperament against a harsh, cold world? Um, been done. The confusing alliances and sudden, penultimate-page inversion of all your preconceptions? It used to be shocking, now it's been done. The exotic, but partially Westernized, beauty who nearly causes a man to forget the beloved wife at home? Been done. The gentle, barely sexual longing that comes close to consummation but never gets there? Been done many, many times. Unnamed emptiness? et cetera.

Slightly pedestrian, this book is Girl with a Pearl Earring and Falling Angels with piano strings instead of paint—maybe it should have been titled The Well-Tempered Clavier. It is Easter Island with a male star. It is Mason & Dixon to the Anglo-Burman wars. It is Invisible Man with the violence in the background. It is 'Interpreter of Maladies' without the realistic bits. It is The Dogs of Babel without a reason for the quest. It is Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil with Asians. It is a bunch of books I plucked from the local library's New shelf in a high-school search for Reality but have now forgotten. In short, it reads like an Oprah's Book Club selection (which isn't bad, East of Eden was my favorite book before she made it a bestseller, and she couldn't have chosen better).

While my frustration with the tired-out genre of what James Wood calls 'hysterical realism' does not necessarily mean that The Piano Tuner is actually poorly written. It's not. The descriptions of Burma are wonderful and probably accurate since Mason wrote most of the book while studying malaria on the border of Thailand and Myanmar. His prose is restrained and precise. The flaw lies in Mason's piano tuner, yet it's hard to put a finger on the problem. He thinks too much. A man frightened by the tightening in his stomach when he meets a beautiful exotic-but-not-too-exotic woman would not think about it at all. Not in words. He would not decipher his feelings for fear that he wouldn't like what he found. For a man whose emotions are songs, he sees a lot more of the countryside than he hears it. The moments when Mason remembers to have his protagonist notice sounds in the landscape are forced, few, and far between. The piano tuner also lacks baggage. His past is a few vignettes, though even a boring man has plenty of memories to color his experiences by the time he's forty-one. He dreams always of mystical things he's never seen, never of old friends and old places. He has few physical needs; his mind exists in a perfect body.

Now I'm tired of this book and of trying and failing to exactly place the déjà vu it recalled.

23.3.08

Can we talk about the racial undertones?


This has been bugging me for months, but then I'm bugged that it bugs me because the picture is so cute and my bishop told a great story about how the model for Jesus turned his life around after this trip to Africa. Still, though.

20.3.08

McCain 2000—Another Reason


In 10 Downing Street today, John McCain talked to Gordon Brown about the problems of climate change. Add that to his desire for meaningful immigration reform, and you've got a candidate who ignores right-wing emotional outbursts in favor of sense and compromise. Oh, yeah, and he didn't talk all nicey-nice about China just because we owe them money. How different would the country be today had he won the Republican nomination in 2000? Or if primaries and parties didn't exist, and candidates didn't have to please the partisan pit bulls before they could ask the general population for their support?

Luckily though I've finally realized that John McCain doesn't have to be president to influence American policy. He's been working on that for years.

What my sister says I asked her last night at 02:59

I was just wondering who was in place of God, and who told you to wear that outfit.

18.3.08

Freak-out shifts into third gear—asks Bethylene, 'are there more gears?'

Canceling my cellphone yesterday afternoon, while I did not notice at the time, has initiated final-stage Bethylene anxiety mode (the Johnson enduring legacy). I haven't slept all night. I just came back from a wee-hours snack of cheese, crackers, and Hershey's syrup mixed with a little milk. My joints hurt. My heart's pounding.

This is really going to happen. I really am surrendering my financial independence to my father, King Pennywise-Poundfoolish of Guilttrip Land. I really am spending two months in a place that's exactly like prison—a prison without the usual television, library, adequate sleep, and free time. I really am facing eighteen months of speaking like a very small child—something I quit well before my third birthday. I really am going to be five-foot-aught in North Philly. I really am going to advertise my huge waist-to-hip ratio (83%!) because I have to tuck in my shirts. I really am never wearing my slinky silk dress with the wide neckline ever again.

14.3.08

Because my head doesn't already contain enough useless information

6.3.08

I haven't made a list in a while.

Stuff I've been pondering lately:

Prince Harry's tour of duty in Afghanistan—he says he hates England because he is restricted by who he is. We may not all be royalty, but we all are born into certain responsibilities and restrictions. For example I was born in the US to American parents, and I can't easily relocate to another country (like the UK) simply because of my birthplace. I was born a woman, and at least here in the Pacific Northwest, I won't be accepted into the adult population unless I've had a child. Women here who can't or don't have children are certainly reminded of their responsibility. I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I won't be socially accepted into the adult population of its congregations unless I'm married (single members of the Church are also reminded of their responsibility). I have to support my family even when they're irrational. I have to pay FICA even though I probably won't get any Social Security when I'm old. People just have to do certain things, Harry. That's just the way it is.

President Hinckley was an English major. I knew I always liked him! This explains the six Bs sounding so much like a lesson from Writing and Pedagogy.

Jonathan Creek
should be broadcast on Mystery! because it's so funny and brilliant. If I get stumped, they're not your typical mysteries.

Hmm, there was something else. I can't remember.

5.3.08

You know your anglophilia is downright unhealthy when

you start streaming House of Commons debates through BBC News.