Things I think about while sorting laundry

Today I have consumed one bowl of oatmeal, two aspirin tablets, and three dark-chocolate kisses.

Using the last of my oil and meal last night to fry corn pone was rather Biblical, wasn't it?

Frying things in the kitchen while my blanket is on the couch makes my blanket smell funny, maybe even like jalapeños.

Wal-Mart sweatshirts turn my underwear pink, even on the second washing.

You'd think that a dream about being elected Empress of the World would not involve broken glass in my hands or psycho-killers.

That one American figure skater is so anorexic.

So then, why does she make me feel so inadequate?