Report on the Decemberists at the Crystal Ballroom

If the Grateful Dead were the Decemberists, I'd be a Deadhead.


On Wednesday night my sister and I went to the Crystal Ballroom to see the Decemberists' second Portland show. The tickets were a birthday present, and I don't think I've ever received a better one.


Since my life has been pretty boring so far, I'd say those two hours when they were on stage are in the top experiences of my life. The Decemberists sparkled (or to be more literary but less lyrical, they coruscated). Who needs pyrotechnics when you can play Guess What Instrument Chris Funk Will Play Next? Who needs costume changes when the harmonies shine forth from the stage with power of their own? Who needs one-name singers when you know the characters in the songs better than you know yourself?


They played all of my favorite songs except "The Legionnaire's Lament." Colin Meloy has a beard. Jenny Conlee played four instruments at once unless she was on the accordion, sometimes playing a glockenspiel with one hand and a keyboard with the other. Her amazing abilities made me regret what I said about her singing, and she sang better in person anyway. Nate Query plays the cello, the string bass, and the guitar, and he looked like Anthony Howell in his vest and tie. People have a strange fascination with Chris Funk.


John Moen stayed in the back most of the time. Oh yeah, and Laura Veirs herself sang "Yankee Bayonet" with Colin Meloy! "Sixteen Military Wives" was dedicated to Mitt Romney. (I hope this isn't a Jerome K. Jerome–like prophecy.) The audience sang along to most of the songs, though it was a little embarrassing when Colin Meloy turned the microphone for the crowd to shout, "sixteen military wives!" and then he kept the microphone out through the confused mumbling of what should have been, "thirty-two softly focused, brightly colored eyes."


There were some problems, like the drunk dancing girls who elbowed in during "The Mariner's Revenge song," and the incredibly and olfactorily unwashed couple nibbling each other's fingers in front of us. And my sister was, I think, embarrassed at my enthusiasm. But I don't care.